The fear of becoming a blogger, my response to negativity online

The fear of becoming a blogger, my response to negativity online

From the moment I first thought about starting my own blog, I had the idea that I wanted to write this post, but you know what’s been holding me back? The fact it’s a bit exposing, honest, and maybe a little different to my usual style.

I like to keep things upbeat and positive, and my writing tone is pretty lighthearted. Now, i’m not saying you’re about to read a sad 50,000 word story, my aim is still to spread positivity, but I have been thinking a little deeper about the online world and that’s what i’m hoping to share.

I’ve had the title to this blog written for so long, but it wasn’t until recently I actually felt like I had the words to put down on paper.

The internet can be a fantastic place, a way to keep in contact, get inspiration, or even just a place look at funny videos of dogs with voiceovers.

But it can also have a darker side. And until recently, i’d never really experienced it for myself.

For me, i’ve always used my social media profiles as a way of keeping up with friends and family, and to share my experiences. Basically just me posting random life updates.

And that’s still very much the case.

However recently, I’ll admit I’ve been putting a conscious effort into how my Instagram looks, how active I am on Twitter (which still needs more work), and of course i’ve been sharing my blogs.

But it’s taken me a long time to feel ok about that, and it comes from the age old trap often holding us back. ‘What will people think?’

I know that my style has changed, and for people that have known me from before I started blogging, it might seem strange. Maybe even annoying, dare I say it … and that’s something that’s really been holding me back. The thought that my posts might make people cringe, or they might not really care about what I post.

Recently, I saw a pretty crappy comment about one of my Instagram posts.

The comment was about how much effort I put into my photos, saying I need to ‘get a grip on life’.

100% honesty here, it really upset me. The thought that someone would go out of their way to criticise something I was doing, what i’m passionate about, I just couldn’t understand.

And like any piece of criticism, it was a confidence knock. I ended up doubting everything I’ve been doing, and got myself seriously stuck in a pit of overthinking.

Luckily, I have some absolutely lovely people around me who were there to talk some sense into me, give me a big hug and remind me that it’s just one small, insignificant comment. I’m doing what I love, and i’m really enjoying seeing my blog grow and my Instagram develop,

I was so overwhelmed by the support I had from everyone, and it got me thinking about a quote I once heard:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" Dr Seuss

Basically, the people who really matter in your life will support you until the end. No matter what you are doing, they will be there on the sidelines cheering you on. And that’s something I feel so grateful about.

On the flip side, unfortunately there are occasionally going to be people who want to shoot you down, it’s just a sad part of life. But the important thing to remember is that’s just a small percentage, who for some reason feel the need to spread negativity. If i’m being really blunt I think it’s a pretty shitty attitude to have, and I’ll never get my head around it but hey ho!

My top tips for dealing with this type of thing?

  • BLOCK. If someone is bringing negativity to your life, or even just your Instagram feed, get rid. There are about 12,098,354 positive people in the world, which means you don’t need to keep anyone in your life that’s bringing you down. Out of sight, out of mind!
  • PERSPECTIVE. When you’re faced with a negative comment online, it really helps to stop and just think about perspective. Think about all the positive things people say about your blog, or your Instagram, and just look at that ratio. It’s usually just one, small bit of negativity which really isn’t worth your time thinking about.
  • DISCOVER. Go out and find someone new to follow, someone who brings nothing but sunshine and smiles to your life. There are plenty of them! I know for me, having positive energy around me keeps me motivated and inspired, and it really can drown out the Debby downers who may want to drag you down.

Moving forward, i’ve decided not to overthink things (a seemingly impossible task but i’ll give it my best shot). If someone thinks i’m putting too much effort in, or doesn’t care what i’m Tweeting, that’s up to them. I can rest assured knowing i’m full of passion and enthusiasm for what i’m doing.

In the same vein, and in an effort to truly drown out the negativity i’m making a conscious effort to show my support to everyone around me in any way I can, whether it’s a kind comment on Instagram or a share of a blog, I know first hand how important it can be to someone.

So send me links to your blogs, Instagrams, Twitter feeds, ANYTHING, and lets spread the love.

Esther xo

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24 Comments

  1. January 14, 2018 / 7:26 pm

    Totally understand where your coming from here!! I’ve not told my friends about my blog cause i’m worried they will think it’s embarassing, and then I think who actually cares about what I have to say! But remember there are people out there like you and me, that love reading blog and appreciate the photography! My instagram is on hold for now but maybe when I fix my camera I will get better! Keep going girl!!

    • January 14, 2018 / 7:29 pm

      This is SUCH a lovely comment to read! I’m so glad it’s only just me who feels this way. I’m just reading through your blog now and it is FAB! I hope you feel you can tell your friends soon, and I cant wait to see how your instagram turns out! xxx

  2. beautylifemom
    January 14, 2018 / 8:27 pm

    Thank you!! I always wonder what people think about what I do because so many people didn’t really know this side of me. People who criticize like that are either just lacking passions in their own life or aren’t worth the trouble- you’re totally right about that! I’d get hung up on it too if someone said rubbish directed at something I worked had on, only natural. But at the end of the day we love what we love and it’s what sets us apart! Great post! Xx Jen

    • January 14, 2018 / 8:33 pm

      It’s quite a scary thing to show a different side of you isn’t it?! I totally know how you feel! You’re so right, as long as we love what we’re doing, the small minded people are insignificant! Thanks lovely xxx

  3. fessjarmer
    January 14, 2018 / 9:19 pm

    We’ll support you Esther ☺️ Don’t let these comments get you down in the future; they’re just jealous x

    http://www.jesseatsandtravels.com

    • January 14, 2018 / 9:21 pm

      You are SO lovely, thank you! I won’t, it’s just one small person with a small mind!

  4. January 14, 2018 / 11:54 pm

    What the heck!? 😭 Your feed is GORGEOUS, I’m astounded anyone would have anything negative to say to you at all!

    Thank you so much for being brave and sharing this, you are an amazing blogger and person and all this advice is so true. Keep it up and focus on the good ☺️💕 You’re doing great!

    Milli

    http://www.milliberman.com

    • January 15, 2018 / 9:16 am

      Thank you so much Milli! I guess it’s just people who don’t fully understand! You’re so lovely, thank you for your support! xxxx

  5. kiirstenjones
    January 15, 2018 / 8:20 am

    I LOVE your Instagram it’s amazing! I salute anyone who can keep up an theme going, mines so random. I’ve never ever understood why if people don’t like something they see, why they can’t just scroll past and not saying anything? Hate comments and trolls are never people I’ll understand. Just ignore them lovely, I think your Instagram is amazing and I personally think they’re just jealous 😊

    KJ / http://www.kiirstenjones.com

    • January 15, 2018 / 9:20 am

      Thank you SO much! I love working on it, that’s why I do it! I really appreciate the support, you’re an angel! I know right?! Why wouldn’t you just unfollow!? I will never understand that. xxxx

  6. January 19, 2018 / 4:17 pm

    I love that Dr Seuss quote, my husband actually has it tattooed on his arm! It baffles me how people think it’s ok to consciously bring others down, I mean, it won’t make them any better so what’s the point? Well done for rising above it and removing them out of your life!

    Kimberley
    http://www.kimberleylane.co.uk

    • January 19, 2018 / 4:21 pm

      No way?! Really! That’s amazing! I totally agree, I will just never understand it! We just gotta keep going! Thanks lovely!

  7. January 21, 2018 / 8:50 pm

    I can so relate! I’m in a very similar situation having just started my blog. It’s important to focus on the support you have, those who support you are the ones who truly matter. If someone wants to take time out of their day to be negative, ignore them and do you! As long as you find joy in it, it’s worth doing.

    • January 22, 2018 / 2:13 pm

      Aw it’s so nice to hear that other people have been feeling the same, we just have to keep doing what we love. It’s so important! Off to check out your blog now 🙂 Thank you for your comment! xx

  8. January 22, 2018 / 2:58 pm

    Hey girl! I have just launched my blog today. I built it so long ago but was so scared to launch it because of negativity. Your posts are so great and please don’t let other people get you down! You got this girl xx

    • January 22, 2018 / 3:03 pm

      Really?! I felt EXACTLY the same, I was so nervous about what people would think. So glad you’ve launched it, i’m going to take a look right now!

  9. January 24, 2018 / 7:57 am

    This is what every new blogger needs to read just to know what to expect do m the world and how to deal with it! Thank you xx

    • January 24, 2018 / 9:34 am

      I totally agree! It can be a bit of a funny world, i’m glad you enjoyed it! xx

  10. January 31, 2018 / 1:26 pm

    Aw Esther I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with negative people trying to bring you down, but it’s only because you’re above them. This post is so inspiring and I admire you so much. I’m so glad to have met you through blogging and to be able to call you my friend. Dr Seuss is of course absolutely right! You are so so lovely and people who fail to see that don’t matter at all! Lots of love xxx

    • January 31, 2018 / 2:18 pm

      Thank you Chloe this comment has really made my day! I’m so glad to have mostly supporting people around me and it’s so nice to have met you!! The people who support eachother are the ones who end up best in the end! <3 xxx

  11. February 7, 2018 / 2:45 pm

    Love this post girl! Keep up the work on the things you love, you are aceing it. And forget the haters…for every 1 neggy Nancy, I bet there are at least 100 people that love your work. Oh and guess what, it was probs just jealousy!!!

    Abi xx

    abirichards.com

    • February 7, 2018 / 2:47 pm

      Thank you so much lovely, that means a lot! It’s so true though, some people just want to bring others down. But we just have to surround ourselves with supportive people! xxx

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